What went Before

I don’t know what came up into my mind that I decided to make this…a piece of crap I guess from my past (sniff!).

Well, don’t take it seriously I’m trying to forget those memoirs and here I am trying to beat the heat of the sun in the 4 corners of this room. So hot but I’m not sweating…how abnormal of me! Hehehe. Others may think of me as an outgoing one, having fun if given a chance and emotionally unstable sometimes (I can swap my mood instantly) but if you can see my other side; there goes the real me. At times, I used to ask myself, what really went before? Then I’ll answer myself with a quiet smile too…see, I can be crazy as well. Hehehe. How stupid of me!
Conversely, I’m a good person (shut up! I love to flatter myself) but I never deny that I needed life support. Don’t take that literally, my parents are not separated. It’s just that since kid, I believed that I was born to be supported (hey! I’m not talking about financial stuff here). To hell with that life support, I have a hard time explaining it then (I’m sorry for the inconvenience ma’am but support is support, getch?).
If you know me, you’ll be able to say that I’m supernatural (here goes my craziness again). I’ve been always haunted with the living and the dead. See, God made me so special…so special that I can even see naked bodies legally and illegally. Honestly, I’ve got a problem with my vision. I can only clearly identify things that are 1 meter away from me; otherwise I can simply distinguish blurredly. Additionally, I’ve got 5 eyes. The 2 was god’s gift to me when I was born, the other 2 was given to me by an ophthalmologist and the last one is I just got it from a trash can and I decided to just put it in my forehead (others used to call it 3rd eye but for me it’s my 5th eye). In addition about me, I love to use the tempus sans ITC font obviously. I love any shades of blue and I was obliged to love the color pink (don’t ask why). Listening to music and reading biographies are just some of my favorite things to do. I’m fond of final fantasy and coffee prince characters. I also adore Tasmanian devil and Stitch (I’m kinda beastly but I hate bestiality). I’m a good friend but a mean enemy. I beg to disagree with the saying that “If someone throws you a stone throws him back with bread”. How dare him, I rather eat the bread!!! My day won’t be complete without reading my Daily Bread annual edition. I’m a very appreciative human being also. Try to give me a toblerone then I’ll surprise you of barnuts the next day…hehehe. I love with my best. I love sharing my blessings to others. Anyway, enough already for my personal information you might get bored. I’M A BORING INDIVIDUAL!
Nevertheless, I want everybody to know that I’m a normal being also. I loved once, twice, thrice and still counting. Besides I’ve been hurt with that same number. Was it my favorite mistake? No! It was my simple regret. It’s just okay, it makes me more human but then as I take a deep breath a face of a girl came into my mind. The girl who never falls in any categories of my ideal woman yet created a big impact in my life. The girl who made me realized that love is not enough at times…
She came into my life like a thief in the night (no warning, no prior notice). I have just get over that time from a terrible heartbreak wherein I promised myself that if ever I’ll fall inlove again, I’m going to triple my love to that person. I’m going to love her with my best. Like an answered prayer she really came but she’s not the one I’m wishing for. I don’t understand why I really don’t like her. She’s really not my ultimate woman but then the destiny turned its wheel against me. I tried to convince myself that I’ll never love that woman however I failed. ..
And now I’m hurting because she’s gone in my life. She gave up on me not because I betrayed her but for the reason that is very rational. It is the first time that I consider heartbreak as really heartbreaking. I feel empty, I feel like dying… when we broke up, how I wish I can fast forward my life. Everything reminds me of her, I didn’t only lose the love of my life but all the things we shared it’s all in me. They say you can only realize the value of the one you love, if that person is out of your life. They may be right but as for me, she’s very important since the day she came into my existence. If you will ask me to describe her by means of a thing, I would say that she’s my IDENTIFICATION CARD. She’s that important to me, I lover her so much…as much as I love myself.
I cried so much since she walked away; I spent my days alone just staring at the colorless ceiling. I listen to music yet each lyric reminds me of her. I’ve lost my appetite, almost my disposition but I’ll never give up. I know she wants me to be stronger, to be matured and to be deserving of her love. She’s a very nice person, others may think she’s a snob but she’s not. I adore her personality. Everytime we have pity fights, we used to throw insults with each other but I never love her less. She speaks with her heart and soul. An angel to me, so fragile, my love…I miss your sweet caress…I miss everything in you my huggy baby.
This girl, she’s one of a kind. The only person who can let me be myself, I love to see her picking her nose in front of me then suddenly she would throw it in my face. There were moments that she would bombard me with her fart…of course it sounds and smells bad but it completes my day. She loves to squeeze the white heads in my face even in public. I love kissing her soft armpit always. Oh baby; you’re part of my everyday (sniff!!!).