my diary

it knows my triple personality
the way i shared it to my buddies
i'm writing in it all my memories
the things i'll always cherish
i treat it as my friend
because there i used to express my sentiments
whenever i am lonely
it was there to comfort me
other says i'm out of my mind
for having a diary of mine
but i know i'm not that kind
it's because they thought i'm wasting my time
it's the book i treasured the most
my life won't be complete if it will be lost
it knows my activities day to day...i'm talking of my diary very well.

hopeless romantic

as they said that someone you didn't meet
someone you didn't saw
someone you didn't know
might be the someone special for you

maybe yes, maybe no
but i really think so
it's because I've been there for so many times
the farther my mind can travel in a distance

i ask the stars above
to show me the wildest thought
is there someone special for me?
if so, who could it be?

oh, i remember my most ideal one
that she could be herself in anything she can
so that in the days of hearts
i hope she will be my valentine

waaaaaaahhhh....this is the poem I've written for my first crush(blushing) almost 8 years ago. it's so funny turning back at those times.

memories of our friendship (VOGUE)

i once found a crowd too noisy
it is composed of pretty lads
i thought they were unfriendly
so of course it drove me mad

but I've been mistaken
coz those are not yet proven
i didn't expect that soon we'll be friends
persons i can depend

years passed we've been always together
sharing all the tears and laughter
i treat them like my sisters
coz i know our friendship means forever

we used to be happy
whatever problems there would be
others used to criticized us
but it doesn't matter to each of us

we will never give up
so that we will always be on top
we would never change
coz that's what our friendship really brings

closing time is fast approaching
so i can't stop missing them
it's very hard to let go of your special friends
most especially if they are your everything

so...farewell friends
i hope we will be together again
a lot of thanks for the memories
coz those will surely remain

a love letter to myself

I know you are in a very depressing atmosphere these days and it hurts me because I promised to you before that you will never feel that pain again. I wanted to comfort you and dry your tears but I’m so sorry because the only thing I can do is to have you this to read everyday the moment you wake up in the morning. You need this I’m sure. Before you start your day, thank God for that first then absorb each word that you’ll find in this letter.
Admit it or not you’re really hurting. She hurt you so bad, right? I saw how you suffered from the first day she betrayed you however you denied that by giving your best smile to everyone as if nothing happened. Stop pretending! It hurts you more; let your tears fall because God made it really to fall not to be salt away in your eyes. Have you ever forget that once you were Crying Eyes? Your tears comforts you…it makes you feel better…it makes you stronger. There’s no bad in crying, don’t hide it. I saw the last time you cried wherein you choose to bury your face in a pillow. Are you trying to suffocate yourself? I hope you’re not because I know you are a God-fearing person. Don’t do it again please you are scaring me.
As of now you are thinking a lot of things. It shows B’gee, you’re transparent even if you are trying not to. Many times I’ve been seeing you staring blankly into nothing. I know you love to daydream since you are kid which you didn’t listen to me every time I told you to stop it because it will bring you nothing. See now? None of your fantasies came true…it will just exist in your dreams but you are born not only to dream but to prove your worth and make your dreams come true. There are lots of unanswered questions in your eyes. Why those things happened? Why she betrayed you? All the whys…I know the answer B’gee.
“It happened because it was meant to happened, you was hurt because you are meant to be hurt.” Stop the sarcasm B’gee! We both knew that you were born gifted. Your parents nor your family didn’t know it, let’s go back to the very first moment you saw dead people. No one believes your story that’s why you prefer to deny that gift. You face your fear alone in that matter. All the things that happened, you knew it will happen. You knew that night that your uncle will die; you knew what will happen to maloi, you’re aware that you will be transferred in Iloilo, you predicted in the first moment of the things that will happen to you with lorlyn, and most of all you already foresee that she will betray you, but did you make any precautions? Nope, right? You waited for those moments then you suffered in the long run. Until when franz? Tell me exactly the answer; I’m tired knowing that you used to cry everyday because of her. You used to sing those songs to her even if she sings those songs to someone else. How pathetic! (sarap mo batukan!)

nothing beats our first kiss

I love this movie so much!!! God has really a wonderful way of showing that unconditional love still works. Henry and Lucy let the world knows that any disabilities will never be a hindrance when you truly love someone. It does conquer all! My favorite part in this movie was when Lucy used to say several times the phrase “Nothing beats our first kiss…” although they have already kiss numerous times. Yes! Despite the fact that she’s suffering of anterograde amnesia she never failed to appreciate the feeling of being loved. With the song of the Beach Boys “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”…nothing really beats this movie!!!

nothing beats our first kiss

What went Before

I don’t know what came up into my mind that I decided to make this…a piece of crap I guess from my past (sniff!).

Well, don’t take it seriously I’m trying to forget those memoirs and here I am trying to beat the heat of the sun in the 4 corners of this room. So hot but I’m not sweating…how abnormal of me! Hehehe. Others may think of me as an outgoing one, having fun if given a chance and emotionally unstable sometimes (I can swap my mood instantly) but if you can see my other side; there goes the real me. At times, I used to ask myself, what really went before? Then I’ll answer myself with a quiet smile too…see, I can be crazy as well. Hehehe. How stupid of me!
Conversely, I’m a good person (shut up! I love to flatter myself) but I never deny that I needed life support. Don’t take that literally, my parents are not separated. It’s just that since kid, I believed that I was born to be supported (hey! I’m not talking about financial stuff here). To hell with that life support, I have a hard time explaining it then (I’m sorry for the inconvenience ma’am but support is support, getch?).
If you know me, you’ll be able to say that I’m supernatural (here goes my craziness again). I’ve been always haunted with the living and the dead. See, God made me so special…so special that I can even see naked bodies legally and illegally. Honestly, I’ve got a problem with my vision. I can only clearly identify things that are 1 meter away from me; otherwise I can simply distinguish blurredly. Additionally, I’ve got 5 eyes. The 2 was god’s gift to me when I was born, the other 2 was given to me by an ophthalmologist and the last one is I just got it from a trash can and I decided to just put it in my forehead (others used to call it 3rd eye but for me it’s my 5th eye). In addition about me, I love to use the tempus sans ITC font obviously. I love any shades of blue and I was obliged to love the color pink (don’t ask why). Listening to music and reading biographies are just some of my favorite things to do. I’m fond of final fantasy and coffee prince characters. I also adore Tasmanian devil and Stitch (I’m kinda beastly but I hate bestiality). I’m a good friend but a mean enemy. I beg to disagree with the saying that “If someone throws you a stone throws him back with bread”. How dare him, I rather eat the bread!!! My day won’t be complete without reading my Daily Bread annual edition. I’m a very appreciative human being also. Try to give me a toblerone then I’ll surprise you of barnuts the next day…hehehe. I love with my best. I love sharing my blessings to others. Anyway, enough already for my personal information you might get bored. I’M A BORING INDIVIDUAL!
Nevertheless, I want everybody to know that I’m a normal being also. I loved once, twice, thrice and still counting. Besides I’ve been hurt with that same number. Was it my favorite mistake? No! It was my simple regret. It’s just okay, it makes me more human but then as I take a deep breath a face of a girl came into my mind. The girl who never falls in any categories of my ideal woman yet created a big impact in my life. The girl who made me realized that love is not enough at times…
She came into my life like a thief in the night (no warning, no prior notice). I have just get over that time from a terrible heartbreak wherein I promised myself that if ever I’ll fall inlove again, I’m going to triple my love to that person. I’m going to love her with my best. Like an answered prayer she really came but she’s not the one I’m wishing for. I don’t understand why I really don’t like her. She’s really not my ultimate woman but then the destiny turned its wheel against me. I tried to convince myself that I’ll never love that woman however I failed. ..
And now I’m hurting because she’s gone in my life. She gave up on me not because I betrayed her but for the reason that is very rational. It is the first time that I consider heartbreak as really heartbreaking. I feel empty, I feel like dying… when we broke up, how I wish I can fast forward my life. Everything reminds me of her, I didn’t only lose the love of my life but all the things we shared it’s all in me. They say you can only realize the value of the one you love, if that person is out of your life. They may be right but as for me, she’s very important since the day she came into my existence. If you will ask me to describe her by means of a thing, I would say that she’s my IDENTIFICATION CARD. She’s that important to me, I lover her so much…as much as I love myself.
I cried so much since she walked away; I spent my days alone just staring at the colorless ceiling. I listen to music yet each lyric reminds me of her. I’ve lost my appetite, almost my disposition but I’ll never give up. I know she wants me to be stronger, to be matured and to be deserving of her love. She’s a very nice person, others may think she’s a snob but she’s not. I adore her personality. Everytime we have pity fights, we used to throw insults with each other but I never love her less. She speaks with her heart and soul. An angel to me, so fragile, my love…I miss your sweet caress…I miss everything in you my huggy baby.
This girl, she’s one of a kind. The only person who can let me be myself, I love to see her picking her nose in front of me then suddenly she would throw it in my face. There were moments that she would bombard me with her fart…of course it sounds and smells bad but it completes my day. She loves to squeeze the white heads in my face even in public. I love kissing her soft armpit always. Oh baby; you’re part of my everyday (sniff!!!).